


ships rocketing around a black hole in the night

by brawltogethernow



Category: Deadpool (Movieverse), Marvel
Genre: (writes admiration that's one-sided bc half the relationship is fictional but only in this universe), Gen, Meta, The Hyphen, sure that counts as an & tag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:34:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25851430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brawltogethernow/pseuds/brawltogethernow
Summary: When film!Deadpool finds out he's the only Wade in the multiverse for whom Spider-Man is just a story because of film rights, he's probably going to have some kind of feeling about it.
Relationships: Jack Hammer & Wade Wilson, Peter Parker & Wade Wilson
Kudos: 27





	ships rocketing around a black hole in the night

**Author's Note:**

> “Wade!” said Weasel the second Wade stepped into the bar, and started making little flicky ‘come over here’ motions.

Wade sidled over. “What’s up, teach? Am I in trouble?”

“No, shut up, I don’t want to know about what roleplay you do in your free time,” Weasel said.

The whiteboard with the cocktail menu written on it was in his hands instead of propped up against the glasses where it usually was. There were markers scattered around his elbows, and one tangled in his fingers that he capped as Wade got over to him.

“Just for you -- alright, to cash in on a massive money-making franchise dominating the public consciousness, but I did think about you for a couple seconds -- I have added a new drink to the menu.”

He spun the whiteboard around. A new entry in red and blue read: The Spiderman.

“Nooooooo,” said Wade, leaning closer. He plucked the marker from Weasel’s fingers.

“Oh, come on, I thought you liked comic book shi-- _Hey, don’t touch my board!_ ”

At the same time Weasel was whingeing, Wade brought the marker close to the freshest entry on the menu, spun it to rest between his ring and pinkie fingers, rubbed away the ‘m’ with his thumb, twisted the marker back into a writing position, and filled in the gap with a cramped ‘-M’.

He leaned back and nodded once, satisfied, then let Weasel confiscate the red marker. “You’ve gotta have the hyphen, man,” he said as Weasel checked the marker over like it was his only child and Wade’s hands were covered in knives, or herpes. Herpes knives. “Spell it right.”

“ _God_ , you’re a nerd,” said Weasel, sweeping up the markers and putting them on a high shelf like he was trying to protect his art supplies from a toddler instead of an adult mercenary. “You don’t exactly fit the image, you know.”

“Too buff? I know.” Wade curled his right arm and made a winking kissy face, then lightly kissed his bicep while staring at Weasel and waggling his eyebrows.

Weasel rolled his eyes. “I actually meant that nerds are supposed to be smart.”

“Well, we live in one crazy world!” said Wade, spreading his arms wide. The breeze from the motion caught the nearest patron, who turned around and glared at him. “And I’m a masked menace myself, you know. Spider-Man is inspiration!”

“Like. I knew you were a nerd, which is why we’re even having this conversation. But you’re like, a super nerd.”

“I would _die_ for Peter Parker,” Wade informed him solemnly in his best register-scraping ‘ _I’m Batman_ ’ voice.

“He’s fictional.”

“I’d die for Hello Kitty, too,” said Wade, solemnly placing his hand on his chest. “In a heartbeat. Anyway, _now_ your entry is perfect, and also, I want one. Does your not having written the price by it yet mean it’s free?”

Weasel cursed and got the markers back down.

The Spider ~~m~~ -Man turned out to be blue-colored vodka, club soda, and red syrup.

Wade smacked his lips. “Doesn’t taste subtextually Jewish.”

“What the everloving hell would _that_ taste like?”

“I dunno....” said Wade, gaze and voice both distant. “My dreams....”

Weasel halfheartedly chucked a rogue marker at him.


End file.
